Monday Meditation: The Importance of Coaches
Posted on March 3, 2008 – 4:32 am by: Nick BubbLate last year, Steve Sparks - an assistant forensics coach to Eau Claire North High School, died suddenly of a a pulmonary embolism. At the first Steve Sparks Memorial Tournament at Eau Claire North earlier this year, head coach Bonni Knight delivered a moving speech on the impact that coaches and forensics have on student’s lives. I have asked Bonni to share the text of her speech with Wisconsin Forensics Daily and it follows below the break.
I want to thank you for coming. This has been an interesting year for me. This year, I am president of the Wisconsin Forensic Coaches Association. In this position, I have had to go to a lot of meetings, deal with a lot of conflicts, and write a lot of emails. But one of the coolest things I got to do was help write the topics for special occasion speeches. As I was sitting in this meeting last July discussing protest and at-risk speeches, I never dreamed I would be doomed to write a few special occasion speeches of my own this year. It never occurred to me that in a few short weeks, I would have to write the eulogy for my best friend and assistant coach Steve Sparks. Or give a speech of tribute today to an audience of forensics students, parents, and coaches.
Today is the first annual Steve Sparks Memorial Forensics Tournament, so I want to ask you to bear with me for a couple minutes while I tell you what that means to us here at North.
Steve was a graduate of the class of 1999. He was considered by most teachers here to be one of the smartest kids to ever graduate from North. He did play acting and radio and placed 6th at state.
Steve began as a volunteer coach in 2005. I asked him come in “for a week” because my dad had just died and I had to leave town right before the UWEC tournament. And he never left. He coached here for three years from November until May, 5 days a week from 3 until 6. He was always early and always stayed late. Steve died unexpectedly on August 2, 2007 from a pulmonary embolism. He was 26 years old.
Steve’s students and his friends will tell you that he was brilliant, witty, hilarious, and completely, and thoroughly dedicated to North High Forensics. As my friend, Steve would do anything for me. He would make me laugh, teach me, comfort me, and even camp out with me at voyageur night. Where else would I have found another adult who could stay up all night on a school night while camping out with a mob of high school kids?
As I have struggled with the grief over the last 6 months, I realize I have learned two things from Steve’s death:
The first is something I want to tell the coaches in the room, most of whom I have known for many years, and two of whom, Laurie Adams and Angie Oplinger, are former students of mine. I never knew how much forensics meant to Steve while he was in high school. He never came to me and said, “Man, this is the greatest activity ever. Thanks so much for all you’ve done for me.” Nor did any of my other students, really. Kids don’t do that. But as he began coaching here, I began to realize that forensics had been the single most important, formative experience of his high school years. Almost every story he told was filled with references to forensics trips or forensics friends. And I had no idea. I had been completely unaware of how much it had meant to him to be part of a team of creative, intelligent people. At his funeral though, countless former students came up to me and thanked me for having been a part of their lives. So my lesson for the coaches is: You have to know that you have changed lives. You have to believe that, even though they don’t tell you. They can’t. They don’t really know it yet.
My second message is for everyone in this room, especially the kids – but really it’s true for everyone. Try to learn from message number one. When someone helps you, gives to you, or loves you, always tell them how you feel. My single greatest peace in all of this is that I did, about a year ago, sit Steve down and tell him how much I appreciated all he had done for me and what he meant to me. So, as trite and trivial as it sounds, let me tell you from personal experience, that you never know how long someone will be around. So make sure to thank someone who helps you, and tell people that you love them. Kids, you have no idea what your coaches have given up to be here today for you. Rest time, time with their families, time with their friends. They gave all that up – for you. Not for money, or prestige, or the tee shirt – they did it for you. And parents, you have no idea how extraordinary your children are. They are here because they are dedicated and committed. Every time they do this, they are learning, growing, and becoming more articulate, and more confident. Sometimes they make you (and me) crazy, but they are great kids, and you should be soooo proud of them. And you should tell them so.
So this has been my special occasion speech to you, and quite honestly, I cannot imagine a more special occasion than to honor a friend and a coach. And so I am proud to introduce Steve’s friends who will honor him today by handing out the awards at the first annual Steve Sparks Memorial Forensics Tournament. Thank you.